And then I got a Liebster Blog Award

Well, well, well. It looks like Normal For Norfolk got the best of me again when she awarded me a Liebster.

This is a Liebster Award and I have one. You may now be impressed.

I suspect she knew that I had not prepared for such an event, had not even envisioned something like this happening. I can only imagine how she chuckled with glee, knowing I would have to write an extra post and have a bit of “Oh, crap, what now?” when she nominated me. I hear her chortling, “Let’s see how THIS makes your nose hairs grow! Mwahahahaha!” because that is totally the type of thing she would do which is pretty much why I adore her. Well, that and the fact that she gives me awards. Thank you, NFN. If I were allowed to tag back, I would totally nominate you because I feel your blog is full of genius. Some of it is evil genius and I like anything evil.

I poked around the internets a bit to find an origin story for this award. I couldn’t find anything prior to 2006 so I suspect it wasn’t really a “thing” until after that time. Or I was just typing in the wrong search terms. Also, I kept getting distracted by all these blog posts that would come up, some of which were funny and had pictures. Have I mentioned now not-good I am at research? Well, unless it comes to stalking, in which case I shine like a little star in the stalkerly sky.
The person who nominated Normal For Norfolk for her Liebster mentioned that her own nominator went through some actual effort to uncover the history of the award and found German stuff. Neat!

Apparently, there were original rules and they went something like this:
If you get and accept a Liebster, you must:
-Thank the person who gave you the award;
-Display the award on your blog;
-Give the award, in turn, to 3 to 5 up-and-coming blogs (less than 200 subscribers) <–I don’t think that includes the subscribers you automatically get if you hook your blog up to Facebook and all your FB friends become “subscribers” whether they like it or not.

But then the rest of the world found out about it and turned it into a sort of chain meme (we used to use the term “meme” back in the day to describe a viral chain letter type activity in which you had to say all these things about yourself or the person who tagged you. Now it just means “popular and probably funny picture/video with hilarious caption/soundtrack that can be found all over the internet even if you try to avoid it” That definition comes from the dictionary I keep in my head)

So  now, in addition to those original three rules, we also must incorporate the new and not-at-all improved prankster’s Rules of 11, which supposedly state:
-Award winner must post 11 things about her/him self;
-Winner must answer the 11 questions created by the nominator (probably found in the post that nominated the winner in the first place);
-Winner must choose 11 recipients for this award AND LET ME TELL YOU, I WILL NOT BE DOING THIS BECAUSE I LIKE THE 3 TO 5 RULE BETTER AND THAT RULE SHOWS UP EARLIER ON THE PAGE SO IT TRUMPS THIS RULE and send them the link to your post to let them know you’ve awarded them a Liebster;
-Winner must create 11 new questions for the bloggers who have been nominated by the winner;
-No tag backs;
-Roll your eyes at how we can’t have nice things because people have to take the simple and muck it all up with the complicated.

Regardless, I will mostly play along because I’m not quite that crotchety. Yet.

I’ve said thank you, I’ve put the award on my blog and I’ve listed my winners below. Now on to the Shenanigans of 11!

11 Things About Me
1. I have one green eye and one brown eye (and don’t get cute with the whole, “No, I think you  have TWO brown eyes” *wink wink, nudge nudge”* not-funny-any-longer commentary)
2. My first imaginary childhood friends were called Plubbies;
3. As NFN already knows, I loathe and detest my own nose hairs, every single one;
4. I was David Bowie’s love child for a whole summer until I found out I wasn’t;
5. When I was a kid, my favorite name was “Cindy” but I grew out of that when I was 8 or 9 and my new favorite name became “Cassandra”;
6. I was inadvertantly tear gassed in a riot and it hurt like hell;
7. I illegally saved and grew to love a 13-lined ground squirrel;
8. I am always thinking up new and exciting ways to kill my  husband;
9. I don’t like diamonds;
10. Gabe and I save our leftover change in hopes of buying a smidgety-bit of property in northern New Mexico and building a little cabin on it so that we have a run-away-to place;
11. We grow our own garlic because it’s waaaaay yummier and because I am against vampires.

My 11 answers to NFN’s 11 questions:
1.  What is your favorite brand of toilet paper and why?
My favorite brand of toilet paper is Cottonelle because I feel it is both price- and quality- competitive.

2.  Comfort or cost? Do you put saving a few pennies over anal nicks?
It’s not that simple! It completely depends on the situation. For general, everyday use, I’ll try to get the mos cost-effective toilet paper but that often means finding coupons for my beloved Cottonelle. However, if my budget allows no wiggle room, I will buy the horribly cheap stuff and just try to constipate myself until I can afford something better. On the other hand, if there are dire things happening in my butt and I know there will be many wipings in one day, I will skip the TP altogether and go straight for the baby wipes, which I always have on hand because baby wipes (now available not just for babies…and also made by Cottonelle!) are the most useful tool in the universe after duct tape. And gum. And Sharpie markers.

3. Manners. What is the rudest thing someone could ever do in front of you?
Uh…well. Hrm. I can’t think of a time when I went, “GASP! How UTTERLY mannerless! You should be ashamed of yourself.” I guess I don’t hold much stock in manners and am something of a heathen.

4. What is your most disgusting habit?
I asked Gabe to answer this because I am not aware of my disgusting habits. He couldn’t think of one off the top of his head, citing my penchant for smelling my hair when I’m reading or thinking as my weirdest habit but nothing came to mind for “disgusting”. I mean, I do some gross things like examine the contents of a freshly-used tissue as if “pearls and rubies had fallen from my head” and I rage against my unruly nose-hairs and I pick at the fish flakes that cover my scalp when I lie in bed reading at night but those are just icky habits, not truly disgusting. It’s not like I bite my toenails or collect snake poop specimens to showcase in my bathroom.

5. Something about you that you haven’t yet admitted too. for example do you shave your toes? (except don’t put “I shave my toes” be original).
How should I know? I haven’t admitted it yet, apparently not even to myself. When I do, I will let you know.

6. A celebrity that you would quite happily punch in the face and why?
Oh, where to start! There’s such a list. I think the first one that comes to mind is Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed, because he has always rubbed me the wrong way and after cataloging his autobiography, I couldn’t get over how not-at-all humble he sounded and I wanted to push him down a flight of stairs, which is funny because I’m not humble, either, yet I never want to push myself down a flight of stairs. That guy just bugs me.

7. Have you ever got your own back on someone who has pissed you off? What did they do and how did you get your revenge?
The answer is called My Marriage. Gabe and I are always exacting revenge upon one-another, so much so that I can’t even remember a single incident of a good Got Ya Back! It’s just like daily life by this point.

8. Favorite curry?
The kind with curry powder in it. I think this is a non-American question because while I understand there are many foods that employ a curried sauce, I don’t really know the types of curries from which I could choose. Also, I love love LOVE the flavor of curry powder so I’m pretty much good with anything curried.

9. Most treasured possession?
Honestly, it’s my house. I love my house so much, it’s embarassing. I don’t mean the items IN my house, though I have several things that I would be heartbroken to be without, but as far as out-and-out possessions go – and I am not counting the cats, the dog, the husband, or the heirloom Christmas cactus as possessions – my house tops the list.

10. What piece of technology can you really not live without?
Oh, ha ha ha! As in current technology? Because I can and often do live without almost all technology. But if it’s just general technological progress since the 1500’s, I probably would have a hard time living without the water heater. How miserable would it be to take cold baths or to always have to warm up pans and pans of water, especially in the winter? I’d just stop bathing.

11. Favorite TV show and why?
My all-time favorite is “The Muppet Show” because it was the one show we were allowed to watch while eating dinner. My mom would set up a blanket in front of the TV and my siblings and I would eat, picnic-style, from the floor while my parents ate on the couch and we’d all watch the Muppets together. More current? Well, this week, it’s “Modern Family” because we just finished watching Season 3 on DVD. However, we also voraciously watch “Dexter”, “Big Bang Theory”, “Mad Men”, “30 Rock”, “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”, and “Adventure Time” among others.  The show I find myself rewatching over and over on DVD is “Bones” but only Seasons 1 & 2. I was ok with Season 3, disappointed with Season 4, and totally lost interest midway through Season 5 and have seen nothing since. The answer to the question is in there somewhere.

11 Questions for the people to whom I’ve just given this esteemed award:
1. What is the first radio song you remember loving?
2. If you could have a sponsored vacation, no holds barred, where would you go and what would you do?
3. Do you intentionally collect anything? If yes, what is your favorite collection?
4. Favorite holiday food (any holiday)?
5. What smell do you love most? Why?
6. What is the one article of clothing you cannot do without? Accessories count!
7. What was your childhood nickname?
8. Which words in the English language do you find particularly loathesome?
9. Do you hold to any superstitions?
10. What’s your dream job?
11. What’s one thing you really REALLY hope to do before you die?

Closing remarks: I would like to give the Liebster Blog Award to the following bloggers whose blogs I enjoy and read even if they don’t know it:

Matronalia – I find you make life sound exciting and romantic and I want to live with you. In a purely platonic way, of course. Or perhaps a winetonic way?

Everydayjill – I realize this is only the most recent incarnation of your personal blog and it will probably change again, but I enjoy following your ups and downs and all arounds. And I like that you post pictures of our town.

Smell My Paw -Anything starring Kitty Drunk Drunk deserves awards! I’d give you more if I had them!

This Mama Is Crazy – I’m sure you’ve already been nominated by someone else but I didn’t see the award on your blog so I’m giving it to you and you know that it really means something coming from me. Also, I’m hoping this motivates you to put up a new post, maybe about your current battle with temporary insanity which shouldn’t be funny but is because I’m cruel.

A Village Mama – You know I only love your blog because it gives me yet another way to stalk your adorable children. MLLE. L WILL BE MINE!

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12 Comments

Filed under My Dearly Beloveds, My journey to writerhood, My Opinions on STUFF

12 responses to “And then I got a Liebster Blog Award

  1. Did you know my cat Tommy is dating Kitty Drunk Drunk? He is totally in love………

    • NO KIDDING? It’s like I’m one step closer to knowing someone famous! Oh, and your sister’s friend’s niece’s barber knows Simon Pegg – you’re just a hookup to fame!

  2. “8. I am always thinking up new and exciting ways to kill my husband;”
    Wow. Just wow. *giggle-pee* This whole post is completely amazing and I think I can honestly say that I just fell in love for the 23rd time this month. And it’s only the 7th…
    I honestly hadn’t clicked on your link through NFN yet because I’m pretty sure that broad has a direct line to my brain somehow and I knew that clicking her links would leave me even MORE behind on my blogging/blog stalking than I already am.
    Thanks, A-holes. Now I have to go to the beginning of yours and go forward so that I can be a proper troll.

    • Ok, 1?
      It’s going to be super easy to back-stalk me because I just started this project at the end of Sept. and usually only post once a week. Plus, I try to keep my posts – not THIS one, obviously – to 750 words or less;
      and 2?
      If you can stalk me, I can stalk you back. Which I will do. Right now.
      and 3?
      OMG, I am SO in that stalking backlog boat with you! It’s tragic, isn’t it? I keep hoping to be in a nearly-severe accident so that I have to spend a week, or so, in the hospital where I can finally catch up on all my blog reading. And hopefully by that time, people will feel so badly for me that they’ll contribute to my hospital bill fund because I know I won’t be able to pay it.

      • ERMEHGERD! We are almost like unrelated blog-twins! Mine is a newborn too! *ersa-bersa-look-at-the-cute-wittle-babies!”
        Eh-hem… *composing self*
        The stalking thing is completely horrible and I think the only way I could catch up would be for A) two weeks (minimum) in the hospital/on bed rest, B) A caffeine drip directly hooked to my brain, and C) Everyone I stalk would have to take a two week break so that I could sufficiently catch up on my reading.
        There really are SOOOOOOOOO many awesomely amazingly talented and funny bloggers out there that it makes me almost want to give it up and just become a “professional commenter” (yeah, I know that’s not a word. I don’t care). I literally have 37 blogs in my bookmarks from Blogger or some other random site. And that doesn’t include the multitude of posts that get delivered to my WordPress “reader” (which now includes yours). It’s scary! And I haven’t even dented the interwebs yet!

  3. Dammit! I was going to nominate you but THEN YOU’RE ALREADY A WINNER!
    Oh, and congratulations. 🙂

  4. Tyler J. Yoder

    THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IN A COUPLE HOURS I’VE READ ABOUT YOU WANTING TO KILL YOUR HUSBAND AND I’M SORRY BUT I SHOULD PROBABLY WARN HIM AND THAT SEEMED TO JUSTIFY THE ALL CAPS.

    Sorry. I’m easily excited. There was a bunch of other stuff that I wanted to mention, but you know.

    • I’m just impressed that you made time to read entries! I feel a little “Awwww!”

      Gabe knows I’m trying to kill him. He’s trying to kill me, too. It’s like a Spy vs Spy marriage. Of inconvenience. And hatred. You know, keep thine enemies closer stuff. And also, it alarms people terribly to hear us talk this way so we really ham it up as often as possible.

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