“She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.”
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
To all the moms out there, this is your day. I hope you get to enjoy it! You do some really hard work and many of you get little or no appreciation for your efforts so GOOD JOB!
Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Mom has lung cancer, stage four.
We found this out last month.
It’s getting easier to say, “My mom has cancer,” but, at the same time, the awareness of what’s happening, what’s going to happen, is only getting bigger and deeper and heavier.
You know, I understand that I, that we, are not the only ones in the world going through this right now. I know there are daughters and sons who have just lost their mother and sons and daughters who have just been told they’re going to lose their mother. There are children all along this road, some right next to us at the exact same point. Yet, at the same time, I feel that we, Chris, Noelle, Bedot, and I, are in an isolated bubble. This is such a personal endeavor, it is just us and our mother and we are the ones who have to deal with these feelings, we are the ones who have to understand that we may soon be motherless. Just because it happens to everyone doesn’t make it easier to understand or navigate. I wish it did.
I don’t know that I’ll get a chance to tell my mom Happy Mother’s Day again. I don’t know if she knows that despite all the anger and fighting and tears between us, that I love her and I always have, even when I didn’t. Yeah, we didn’t like each other for a long time, but I did know that she loved me the whole time. I hope she knows that.
We’re going to spend the afternoon with Mom, getting her garden ready (unless the snow comes early. It’s just rain for now, so fingers crossed) so that she’ll have a summer of plants. It’s a good thing she taught us to garden, isn’t it?