I may be coming down with witchy powers. Or a brain tumor.

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All advice is free but probably not very good.

I come from a family of witches. As is typical, the line runs matriarchally. I think if you’re not part Native American, like we all like to pretend we are because some cousin in the 1600’s ran away and lived with some Indian tribe and somehow that got into our blood, you’re part of a group who holds hereditary powers.

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This is the kind of witch I’d like to be. The kind with snow stuck in my eyeball.

The thing is, I’ve never really felt much like a witch – not the actual witchy kind, I mean. Yes, I love Halloween the most out of any holiday and I like the idea of spells and earth magic and moon power. I like spiders and I have cats and I enjoy cooking things in cauldrons, though I call mine a Crock-Pot, but I’ve never felt like I have special abilities that don’t show up in most people. It’s made me a little jealous over the years. My mom and sisters and my brother, hell even my pragmatic grandfather, they’ve all come into contact with ghosts. I tried and tried until I was in my early 20’s to see or feel or meet a ghost and I didn’t get so much as a shiver.
My whole maternal line plus my sisters are precogs.  I’m not. They sense things. I don’t. My mom and (I think) my youngest sister do blessing and cursing. I only curse with swear words and blessings are right out of the question mostly because I’m not a nice person.

Double, double, toil and trouble and sunny days and tangled green ribbons…dammit, that mess is going to take a long time to unravel.

But my mother just told me on a phone call the other night that I’m coming into my powers now that I’m elderly. She reminded me that I’ve always been able to find “good energy” which I don’t quite understand, but she says we all have different powers and that’s been mine. She knows I’m getting my charms because I called her based on one weird thing – I was puttering around the house on a Monday, getting ready for work, and I smelled my mom, as in it smelled like she was in the room. I called the next night to make sure she was ok. While we were talking, I realized it hadn’t been the first time this smelling trick had manifested. It had also happened the weekend prior to this call. I’d been outside in the shed and I’d smelled my mom so I walked into the yard, thinking maybe she was there. Gabe came to the back door and said, “Hey! Your mom’s here,” and there she was, in my house. That might indicate she needs to bathe more often, if I can smell her from that far away. It also might indicate that I’m going crazy. But I can’t rule out the possibility that I am inheriting the special little things the rest of the women in my family have always had. It’s like I have Extra SCENTSory Perception!
There are other family members who would argue with this whole idea – Gabe being one; he says he would know in his gut if I had powers of some sort which is kinda funny if you think about it – but according to my mom (and my sisters) (and my grandmother before she got ill and felt she was being plagued by the devil), we’re a family of witches. I might be one, too.

Is there a handbook for this stuff out there? I don’t have one in my library. I suppose I could go check Llewellyn’s site OR I could check WebMD and find out that I have a brain tumor and only weeks left to live.
Maybe I’ll be lucky and it will kill me on Halloween! That’s kind of a witchy hope to have, isn’t it?

At any rate, I wish you all Happy Halloween, All Soul’s Day, and Dia de los Muertos!

Mr. TokiO wishes you a festive holiday.
P.S. He wants you to know pumpkin brains are NOT delicious. Also, they stick to your fur and it is gross.

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It’s LIKE Day of the Dead. Mostly, I just wanted to show off my cool decorations.

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22 Comments

Filed under Adventures, In my backyard, My Dearly Beloveds

22 responses to “I may be coming down with witchy powers. Or a brain tumor.

  1. My Mom and my aunt have that telepathic thing going on, but it never seemed to have manifested in me. I don’t have any sisters, just a brother, so maybe that’s where the disconnect lies…not sure. One power…talent…curse I seem to have is empathy. I feel sadness more deeply than others around me. I used to joke that I had the power that Princess Leah and Obi Wan Kenobi had in the first Star Wars movie when they felt in their gut when something awful happened…you know, the break in “the force, but all kidding aside, I feel waves of sadness at times that don’t make sense because it happens even if my life is going well and I am truly happy! Oh well. Thanks for sharing your witchy powers and your fabulous Halloween decorations!

    • To be horribly mean (remember, I’m not a nice person) – I would hate having extra empathy! I hate having feelings, as it is, so that would be nightmarish for me. If I could send you some sort of anti-empathy aspirin, I totally would. That way, you could take it when you weren’t up to feeling extra things.
      On the plus side, though, it’s a pretty common super power, so maybe you’re a superhero! Put on a cape and some cool boots – do you look awesome? Then you’re definitely a superhero.

  2. Congrats on your new-found precog abilities! I am a might jealous – the only cool thing I can do is guess the correct answers on Jeopardy…

    • Thank you, thank you. I think by the time I’m 50, I’ll be a regular Brunhilde! Or Wanda! Or Wendy! Or Samantha! Or [fill in witch name here]
      You should work on that power of yours because if you get good enough at it, you could win money! On Jeopardy! And we’d all TIVO your episode.

  3. abrielolive

    Oh you’re a witch alright! =p
    I don’t really get much off your family but you are different.
    I think what ever powers you may have seem to have to do with animals or you may also be a nature witch. Although with making your own laundry soap and other things you are already an established kitchen witch.

    • Haha!
      I think most of the powers you’re picking up from me come from my saucy new red shoes. I think they mess your ability to see things clearly. 🙂

  4. wallnp

    witchy woman!

  5. Can they get me winning lotto numbers? What are your powers? Can YOU get me winning lotto numbers?

    I don’t have any neat-o powers. I’m just me. OH! Actually! I can make my veins collapse and roll away from needles! That’s not actually a POWER per se, so much as an annoying thing my body does because of my severe needle phobia.

    I WIN AT LIFE!!!

    • No, no I dont think I can predict numbers. I mean, I’m not sure. This is all new to me. But it’s obviously already working because I got to read a manuscript about witches written by a published author whose first book is also about witches so the power is on. I just don’t really know what it does, yet.

      You know, when the needle probey aliens come and try to suck us dry, you’ll survive because they’ll never get your veins. You will live to create the next human race. You should feel very proud of yourself.

      • Actually, I was talking about how I pass out when people go for my veins… because that’s good dinner conversation (naturally), and I was saying how much I enjoy passing out, because it’s so relaxing. It turns out that this feeling is not generally shared by others who have passed out.

        ….. this has nothing to do with your blog, and for that, I am relatively sorry. Relatively.

        I also want to buy you a really nice broom now. You can ride it to DC and come visit me.

        • OH! OH! So, there’s an old mining town a couple hours south from where I live. Two mining towns right next to each other, actually – Cripple Creek (famous) and Victor (no one has ever heard of it). Cripple Creek took on gambling as their source of income now that all the Miner 49ers are dead. Victor took on tourism and it sort of works but mostly not so now they’re doing other fun stuff like renting out the town for entire events. They just did a steampunk weekend last month or the month before. ANYHOW, there is a broom store in Victor – they make the brooms there. You can pick your colors and everything. So I will have a black and orange one made and I will teach it to fly and I will come visit. But I”ll also have to visit my cousins because they live right down the road from you (Waldorf) and they’d kill me if they found out I was there and didn’t stop in.

          • Think of how much you’d save on airline fees!! (That shit is outta control. I don’t think I’m a witch, but if they make broom sidecars, I would LOVE a lift somewhere!)

            • Hmm. I think they make nets, actually. I can hoist you around. We’ll need pillows, though, for comfort. Because net burns hurt.

              • Oh man, AMEN!!! I was doing trapeze once, and I did a face-plant from 20 feet up, RIGHT in the net. Shockingly, it was not my sexiest moment.

                • HOLY OUCH-AMOLE! NO, seriously, ow. Ow ow ow. And also…ahahahahaha! Because that would be sort of funny to watch. Not to live, though. Certainly not that.

                • Honestly, it all happened so fast, I didn’t realize what was going on until I was flopping in the net. Then I was like, “Oh… not cool.” But yeah, it was probably HILARIOUS to watch! “WEEEEEEEE-oof!”

  6. Tyler J. Yoder

    My father had mysterious powers. My patrilineal line are all freemasons, four generations back, and I’ve always been secretly afraid that the other masons get mind-reading abilities that I missed and so they glare at me for thinking “This meeting full of old men is really dull.” *ahem*

    Did you powers manifest more clearly?

    • Because I don’t understand things, in general, I thought freemasons were people who had to do stonework for free. Maybe like interns or apprentices? And so I wanted to find freemasons to do some stonework around our yard. My parents did not appreciate my helpfulness. Because I’m a woman and because I am not a part of any secret societies, I still don’t really understand the point. I also don’t get the Orders of [insert animal here] clubs, either. Because: Dull old men! Who wants a collection of those??

      My powers, they are still growing. But there’s a later entry about finding an amazing author whose tagline is “I’m a lost witch, are you a lost witch, too?” and doing some amazing things. I think that’s all part of me coming into my own. I think it’s going to take awhile. I’m a very late bloomer.

  7. Awesome post! I love all that kind of stuff – as long as it isn’t scary – but I know I’m not a witch because I’m terrified of spiders. But I am a cat person. The only weird thing I can think of that I do is (back when I used to watch tv) particular scenes from movies would pop into my head over and over for a few days then they would actually come on the tv. But it was a completely useless power because A) who needs real premonitions of fake reality and (B) I couldn’t make the movies I wanted to see come on.

    • Bwahahaha! Ok, yes, useless power BUT! What a great way to weird your friends out! Though, technically, I guess you can find the week’s programming in advance so some of them would have assmed you did that. But for those who don’t know about the program schedule, you could totally have freaked them out!

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